2010. 96 minutes. Rated R.
“You don’t butt in line! You don’t sell drugs! You don’t molest little children! You don’t profit on the misery of others! The rules were set a long time ago!”
A line cook transforms himself into a homemade superhero, the Crimson Bolt, to rescue his fallen-off-the-wagon alcoholic/addict wife from a life of stripping and whoring. Along the way, he doles out vengeance to drug dealers, child molesters, and line cutters, but soon our hero–and his self-appointed, overzealous sidekick (Ellen Page)–are committing more crimes than they are solving.
Super
Frank (Rainn Wilson) meets Sarah (Liv Tyler) at work, and he’s the first genuinely nice guy she knows. His wedding, and the pointing out of a handbag thief to a pursuing cop, are the shining moments of his life. When Sarah falls in with evil nightclub owner Jacques (Kevin Bacon), she starts using again, and leaves him. Frank freaks out and prays to God for guidance. He receives a vision (perhaps unduly influenced by a terrible religious children’s television show featuring Captain Hammer) to fight crime to get his spouse back.
Things I loved: The balance of cringeworthy (I found myself flinching a lot during this film) and cheerworthy moments.
Cringeworthy:
- When [name redacted] got shot in the [blank].
- Tentacle porn.
- An uncomfortable sex scene (“But it’s all gooshy!”).
- People riddled with bullets.
- Sarah getting pimped out by Jacques.
Cheerworthy:
- The clang of a wrench painted red clanging off the skulls of villains.
- Frank’s yelling as he beats on people
- Sweet victories.
- The final scenes, where Frank gets not what he intended, but what he needs.
- The mixed message about religion. As a recovering Catholic, I found some delight in the derivision of religion. Both the humor of the religious visions and the cheesiness of the faux Christian TV show were hiLARious. Nathan Fillion excels at playing cheesy superheroes, and it’s an easy leap from smarmy Captain Hammer to the sanctimonious Holy Avenger. And yet, Frank’s ethic and allusion to “the rules being set a long time ago” resonated with me as a reference to the 10 commandments. I really enjoyed the dichotomy of the ethics of vigilantism, murder, and mayhem in the name of religion.
- The cast. Kevin Bacon is devilishly cold-hearted, selfish, cruel and greedy (c’mon, who doesn’t love Kevin Bacon?). He plays charming well, but is equally good at charming and evil. Rainn Wilson seems typecast again as a dork (I’m a huge fan of both The Office and Six Feet Under—I’m sure his range extends to more than geeky misanthrope), but pulls off a little more depth here. Ellen Page, whom I last saw as the sweet girl in Juno, is disturbingly adult. Liv Tyler’s few moments on screen are luminous, and the Aerosmith reference at the end of the film is just brilliant.
Pair with KickAss and Dogma for a super triple feature that encompasses heroes, morals, and vengeance.
