1985.117 minutes. PG-13.
“Face-eating, Jack? Is that some kind of delicacy?”
Come with me, back to a time when Wilford Brimley wasn’t hocking oats or talking about his diabetes, when Don Ameche stopped betting against Eddie Murphy, and the kid from The NeverEnding Story finally stopped reading that damn book. This movie takes us back to a simpler time, that sweet-spot in the 1980s where many of the science fiction films had a lot of heart, or at least sentiment. This movie in particular is supremely saccharine; it was directed by Ron Howard, for goodness’s sake, that man LOVES sappy flicks!
It all starts in Florida with a group of geriatric gentlemen and their significant others who all live in a retirement community, doing stereotypical ‘old folks’ things like shuffleboard and jazzercize. However, we do find a small contingent of rule-breakers who sneak off every day to jump into a pool in a nearby unoccupied building (although the pool is still being kept up quite nicely, as it is currently on the market). This small band of anti-authoritarians consisted of Art Selwyn (the ever-dapper Don Ameche), Joe Finley (Hume Cronin) and walrus in a human suit Wilford Brimley as Ben Luckett, who, hilariously enough, was only 50 years young when he played this role, even dyeing his hair to look older! Grandpa Ben invites grandson David (Barret Oliver) to swim with them as well, although upon arrival it appeared as though a prospective buyer, Walter (Brian Dennehy), might be moving in. But where there’s a will, there’s a way; and when a group of famous geriatric men wanna swim in your pool, you let ‘em!
As we watch these men and their wives slowly deteriorate to the creeping ravages of old age, we discover that Walter heads up a small group of researchers, who hire a boat captained by down-on-his-luck Jack Bonner, goofily played by Police Academy favorite (Steve Guttenberg). The small crew are very tight-lipped about their research and have some very advanced maps and directions, but the wad of cash waved in front of Captain Jack and the inclusion of a beautiful female researcher named Kitty (Tahnee Welch) convince the old seadog to keep his questions to himself and help the group out. They end up hauling large egg-like rocks from the ocean, seemingly buried in ancient ruins broken across the sea floor, and haul them back to their rental, tossing them into the pool and heading back out to sea. Well, that IS mysterious!
The geriatric trespassers take no real notice and continue their clandestine swimming, but the ocean rocks are now in the pool as well. After a moment of hesitation, they go in for a dip on the rocks while we get one heck of a diving montage set to synth music. These guys seem to be unstoppable! They seem to be in very high spirits after their dip, and all joke about erections, and once they get back home, proceed with some real ‘frisky’ business (yeah, I said it). The next morning the Old Wive’s Club (I am on a ROLL!) meet, including Mary Luckett (Maureen Stapleton), Bess McCarthy (Gwen Verdon) and Alma Finley (Jessica Tandy) and eyebrows are raised all around, but they just chalk it up to a good night and go about finishing their card game.
But after more rocks appear and these old men continue to act younger every day, even close friends start to wonder, like nebbish Bernie Lefkowitz (Jack Gilford), who is quite reluctant to accompany these scofflaws and continually worries about the health of his beloved Rosie (Herta Ware), who is clearly experiencing the onset of dementia. One thing is clear to these guys, however, and they begin to invite the women to their ‘pool parties,’ whooping it up like a bunch of teenagers on spring break. Meanwhile, Captain Jack is starting to get more and more curious about his strange guests, and more and more intrigued about pretty Kitty, who seems to be playing it close to the chest. But the feels keep on coming as the old folks live it up, the researchers seem to be succeeding in whatever they’re doing, and we get more montages, including a memorable scene of Don Ameche’s character breakdancing at a club, which is quite a treat.
But what is causing the spring in the steps of these old guys, and what the heck kind of ‘research’ is being done by Walter and his crew? Even Residential Attendant John Dexter (deftly played by Clint Howard, who seems to appear in EVERY ONE of his brothers’ films) seems perplexed. This film truly encapsulates that touchy-feely brand of science fiction the 80’s thrived on; some ups and downs, a great core of emotional baggage, the ever-present montages set to current music or awesome synth, and a whole lotta terrible special effects. But even the tear-jerkers still make you smile despite yourself, and with Cocoon, you’re going to do just that.
Watch Alike(s): *batteries not included (1987) dir. by Matthew Robbins
Short Circuit (1986) dir. by John Badham
