- 90 Minutes. Rated PG.
Quote: “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K…”
Needed to polish my chops for this one. Quite possibly the second best time travel movie in history. If you don’t know what the first is, you should just stop reading this right now.
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure – De Laurentiis Entertainment Group
Just atrocious acting, stupendously bad plot, terrible special effects, the worst wardrobes 1989 had to offer, and still one of the best movies that either of them was ever attached too. With George Carlin as their guide, The Wyld Stallyns changed history.
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure – De Laurentiis Entertainment Group
Second Quote “Excuse me. When did the Mongols rule China?”
I LOVE THIS MOVIE. It is definitely my favorite of all the time-traveling movies that Keanu Reeves was in (there’s three of them). These guys definitely took a shot (though they failed) to capture some of that Cheech & Chong magic. They come off as stoners, but appealed to a younger audience, so nary a drug reference is made. They paved the way for more duos to come like Wayne & Garth, and certainly Jay & Silent Bob, both of whom trounce Bill & Ted in every aspect.
Alright, let’s see, this is the story of two high school rock star wannabes named Bill (Alex Winter) and Ted (Reeves), who are destined for greatness. A cool dude (the coolest in fact) (George Carlin) arrives in a telephone booth that fell from the sky. He informs them he is from the future and he has come to help them with their history report, which they are otherwise assuredly going to fail. He tells them that for all of future times, they are revered as the greatest rock legends to ever live. The only thing is, if they flunk out of High School, none of it will ever happen.
They hop a ride on the circuits of time and travel back to borrow a few “famous personages” to act as special guests for their report. It’s a load of crap, but I could watch it once a week. Laughs ensue, egregious language, and subpar 80s rock.
THE LIST: How did this movie even get made?
1.Heinous Acting
Nobody in this film is good. Period. Not even George Carlin. At the end of the day he was never an actor, he was an amazing stand up comic and writer who earned the right to take a few pay days from time to time. George aside though, these guys were putrid. It’s so bad, that it goes back into good. They literally just make faces at each half of the time and elongate words to seem entertaing, like Booooooguuuuuusssss….
Both were no talent guys who mostly turned into nothing. I mean, ok. Alex Winter was in Lost Boys, and Keanu Reeves knows Kung Fu. In truth I am a Keanu fan, and I’m in good company. Fact is that many moviegoers agree he is a subpar talent, so while I enjoy him,
I have to question why sometimes. My blog though so guess what… I think he’s a good actor.The end.
Seriously though, I love this movie, and it’s the perfect example of being entertained by a bad film. Sometimes, you are just in the mood for it. Like cold pizza, or sitting outside in some nice cool rain.
What I really wish, was that we had the tapes from the auditions. Who didn’t make it into this movie that’s what I wish we could hear about. That’s the thing really, is that so many awful actors went in for these roles, that they said ” these two were definitely the best”. I bet those tapes would be like that first episode of the season on American Idol, where guys who look like carrot top try to sing Bohemian Rhapsody.
2.Egregious Language – All lifted from bill&ted.org (mostly because I cannot believe that site exists)
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure – De Laurentiis Entertainment Group
POSITIVE ADJECTIVES
Excellent – Being of the highest or finest quality; exceptionally good; superb.
Triumphant – Exulting in success or victory.
Bodacious – Intrepidly bold or daring; audacious.
Outstanding – Standing out among others of its kind; distinguished; excellent.
Stellar – Outstanding; principal; leading.
Unrivaled – Unequaled; peerless; supreme.
Resplendent – Filled with splendor; brilliant.
Atypical – Not typical; varying from the type.
NEGATIVE ADJECTIVES
Bogus – Counterfeit; fake.
Egregious – Outstandingly bad; blatant; outrageous.
Heinous – Grossly wicked or reprehensible; abominable; odious; vile.
Odious – Exciting hatred or repugnance; abhorrent; offensive.
3.Subpar 80s rock
Wyld Stallions music ends up putting an end to war and poverty, aligning the planets and bringing them into universal harmony, allowing for meaningful contact with extra-terrestrial beings and common house pets. It’s excellent for dancing, too. This all 700 years into the future. That being said, they can’t play a lick in the 1980s. The sound track is filled with unexciting big hair bands from the 80s like Extreme, Shark Island, and a few tracks from Steve Salas. None of it is really great, but it fits the bill. The music in the sequel is actually quite superior, as are the jokes. This movie is better on the whole, though.
(end of THE LIST)
This movie is an essential 80s movie. Watch it or may you be doomed to use slang past it’s prime and have no one tell you that you aren’t “with it.” I forgot to mention this 80’sriffic rock ballad by Robbie Rob.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upWj-RrKnIQ
